Devilled Eggs

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

(Insipired by TRUE events!) “Devilled Eggs” By Radley Horwitz February 12, 2011 Devilled eggs Be steady, my legs Massive tremblor Ovular offender Wacky String Pornographic i-ching Hydraulic nose job Catatonic trip Massive seat trays On John Denver Airways Tree frog tap dance Mellaluca Train Moonwalk Bopeep House of Pain Pornographic Flashdrives Of the Ku Klux Clan Ichabod Cochese Headless Horse.  Man....

Read More

Oliver Cromwell

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

One day, on the Internet, I was trying to look up Oliver Reed and accidentally looked up Oliver Cromwell, who we may remember from back in 5th grade, was “kilt” more than once.  Dug up.  “Kilt” some more.  Some guys kicked his carcass around like hundreds of years later and yanked his head off and it has literally “floated around” in sick collections of weird shit that some monks were holding somewhere. I don’t mean to sound xenophobic. Anyway, here is the poem that my random “Wikipedia Moment” inspired in me: “Oliver Cromwell” By Radley Horwitz February 16, 2011 Cocaine brain Pork loin gravy train Tap dancing sweet breads flaming shish kabob laser brain middle ages angry mob...

Read More

Laugh yourself Dead

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

The last line of this one is too be shrieked aloud when you read it with the accent from the guy at the end of “Taxi Driver” when DeNiro blasts part of his hand off. The guy chases DeNiro down the hall, screaming “Ah keeeel you!  Ah keeeel you!” and beating him with his bloody nub! I always used to fuck around with my friends in the old days who had a video game system.  If we were playing 2 player, I would just chase the other character around screaming “ah keeeel youuu!” with his crazy accent from the movie… This is a lengthy explanation, but it could also explain why I may the the only one who may actually laugh reading it.  I can deal with that.       Laugh yourself Dead By Radley 2/18/11     Laugh yourself Dead On your head In your bed I busta you head Poor Giuseppe, Ah keel you! FIN....

Read More

Poetry Influx

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

I was in Asheville, NC when I was suddenly “seized” with inspiration… as Chairman Clench used to say!   Poetry Influx By Radley Horwitz 2/22/11     Poetry Influx! Coppola Redux! Is it the elevation? Is it the speed? To rhyme and ramble, I have the need! Crazy things come into my head I write them down, my pens are bled! Without a rhyme I can’t think one bit Dennis Hopper  must have laced my shit. FIN.  ...

Read More

Cryo freeze me

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

Cryo-Freeze Me By Radley Horwitz 3/3/11   Cryo Freeze Me Til the year 3000   Everyone reading this Will be dust And my voicemail Will be bust   Thaw me out in the age of reason And surely in time for Liberal Season   Pack for my journey A sport bottle for thirst And a Swiss Army knife In case my appendix should burst   Laser guns You’ll surely have So I’ll pack my NRA card just to have     You may think I am whacked Or completely on weed But you must understand Some new company I...

Read More

Charlie Sheen Passion Fruit

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

I wrote this back when Mr. Sheen was on the news quite a bit.  I even joined Twitter under the moniker “Tragic Chicken” just to see his last words go by. To my pleasant surprise, he’s still kicking as of… November 16, 2013… “win.”  For him.  Heh.       “Charlie Sheen Passion Fruit” By Radley Horwitz March 8, 2011 Fly forth like Sheen If you know what I mean Machete moonwalk Mulholland mamba My Eightball Hero Scores one for the Masses CBS’s score: zero Fuck their executive asses! “Free at last” You do attest With a machete Across your breast Take to the hills Take to the blogs You wage holy battle With those filthy dogs A bit more mental Than Blago himself My favorite Platoon Star My over-sized Elf! To a teenage girl, You are my glitter I now even follow you On that annoying ‘Twitter’! Party into the night They will not smite you With their lawyers and words They try vainly to fight you His witticisms—endless! His rants are sublime! He moves me to write this now For I fear… he hasn’t much time....

Read More