Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

This one just has random bits sticking out of it.  I could never really get inspired enough to finish it since I just kept coming up with more and more stupid stuff that rhymed…

“Ode to Satan”

By Radley Horwitz

2/5/2011

I’ve written a poem

That could cost me my home.

 

They say he’s a dick, an intolerable prick.

Now, I’m not saying he’s good,

And I’m not saying he’s bad.

And I’m certainly not inviting him

To tea with my Dad.

 

Things weren’t going my way

Ricky Martin had just said he was gay.

 

When I heard a voice from below,

It said, ‘I can help you, you know!’

 

It was the man himself,

That big red, hairy elf!

 

He’s said not to be good,

But I say he’s just misunderstood.

 

Just because he sports a goatee

Don’t make him a bad honky to me.

 

He may have cloven hoofs and no humility

But I don’t consider that a disability.

 

He loves silly games—

Like engulfing puppies in flames!

 

His friends are the pits.

He’d give Hitler the shits.

 

They say he’s an ass-a-hola,

‘cuz he golfs with the Ayatolah.

 

In the Garden of Eden,

He gave Eve what she was needin’

 

His habits are crass,

He shoots fireballs from his ass.

 

Even the Pope calls him bitter

(he just said so on Twitter)

 

He’s been portrayed by DeNiro and Pacino,

If ya know what I mean-O

 

So, if you’re down on your luck,

He could slip you a buck!

 

To send him a note,

You just slay him a goat.

 

We blame him for all our ills,

(Forcing him to take endless pills)

 

ENDING:

In Heaven you get wings,

But who needs those silly things?

 

I say give Satan a shot!

Then again, maybe not…

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