King of France

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

 

“King of France”

By Radley Horwitz

February 12, 2011

Cocaine meat train

Razor blade pants

Shithead assface

King of France

FIN.

Mick Jagger

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

“Mick Jagger Odyssey”

By Radley Horwitz

February 15, 2011

Mick Jagger Odyssey

Voban chunks

Tom Cruise super-fly

Atomic Monks

Superfly Molasses

 Ginger bread Malarkey

Take my keys

I can’t parallel park-ee

 

FIN.

Razor Blade

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

“Razorblade Cheesecake Kangaroo”

February 16, 2011

By Radley Horwitz

Her name was Razorblade Cheesecake Kangaroo.

In her pocket she always carried

a bucket of stew!

What it was for,

nobody knew!

First it turned green,

Then it turned blue!

She decided it was time for some new,

Fresher stew!

When she was asked what it was for,

She would reply

“It isn’t for you!”

She always got mad because

the other kids made fun of her.

“What kind of name is that,

Razorblade Cheesecake Kangaroo”?

They would taunt

“It’s the only name I have,”

She would reply.

“And besides,” said Razorblade Cheesecake Kangaroo,

“What kind of name is ‘Amy’, anyway?”

Quothe the hastily-named Amy:

“Forgive me, Razorblade Cheesecake Kangaroo,

I know not what I do!”

FIN.

Poor Luigi

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

(MUST be read with loud, Italian accent):

 

Poor Luigi!

He never hurta no one.

FIN.

Hello Drugs

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

A new Poem by Radley:

“Hello Drugs”

By Radley Horwitz

December 31, 2011

The Sun is out.

So, I am not!

FIN.

Rap

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

“Rap”

By Radley Horwitz

3/5/11

 

 

Rap.

Rhymes with crap.

Yo.

Devilled Eggs

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

(Insipired by TRUE events!)

“Devilled Eggs”

By Radley Horwitz

February 12, 2011

Devilled eggs

Be steady, my legs

Massive tremblor

Ovular offender

Wacky String

Pornographic i-ching

Hydraulic nose job

Catatonic trip

Massive seat trays

On John Denver Airways

Tree frog tap dance

Mellaluca Train

Moonwalk Bopeep

House of Pain

Pornographic Flashdrives

Of the Ku Klux Clan

Ichabod Cochese

Headless Horse.  Man.

FIN.

Oliver Cromwell

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

One day, on the Internet, I was trying to look up Oliver Reed and accidentally looked up Oliver Cromwell, who we may remember from back in 5th grade, was “kilt” more than once.  Dug up.  “Kilt” some more.  Some guys kicked his carcass around like hundreds of years later and yanked his head off and it has literally “floated around” in sick collections of weird shit that some monks were holding somewhere.

I don’t mean to sound xenophobic.

Anyway, here is the poem that my random “Wikipedia Moment” inspired in me:

“Oliver Cromwell”

By Radley Horwitz

February 16, 2011

Cocaine brain

Pork loin gravy train

Tap dancing sweet breads

flaming shish kabob

laser brain middle ages

angry mob

FIN.

Laugh yourself Dead

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

The last line of this one is too be shrieked aloud when you read it with the accent from the guy at the end of “Taxi Driver” when DeNiro blasts part of his hand off. The guy chases DeNiro down the hall, screaming “Ah keeeel you!  Ah keeeel you!” and beating him with his bloody nub!

I always used to fuck around with my friends in the old days who had a video game system.  If we were playing 2 player, I would just chase the other character around screaming “ah keeeel youuu!” with his crazy accent from the movie…

This is a lengthy explanation, but it could also explain why I may the the only one who may actually laugh reading it.  I can deal with that.

 

 

 

Laugh yourself Dead

By Radley

2/18/11

 

 

Laugh yourself Dead

On your head

In your bed

I busta you head

Poor Giuseppe,

Ah keel you!

FIN.

 

Poetry Influx

Posted by on Nov 16, 2013 in Radleys Poetry | 0 comments

I was in Asheville, NC when I was suddenly “seized” with inspiration…

as Chairman Clench used to say!

 

Poetry Influx

By Radley Horwitz

2/22/11

 

 

Poetry Influx!

Coppola Redux!

Is it the elevation?

Is it the speed?

To rhyme and ramble,

I have the need!

Crazy things come into my head

I write them down, my pens are bled!

Without a rhyme

I can’t think one bit

Dennis Hopper

 must have laced my shit.

FIN.